Fandom : Can it prove disastrous to your development ?

i agree wid niki..even if a "fan" opines sumthng in a very objective logical manner he/she is attacked by opp fan grps for no rhyme or reason..since we are on reality shows,i have generally not posted anything on these forums tho i do visit thm for the heck of it..i hae seen people targetting senior people like saroj khan just coz she dint coochie-coo their "heartthrob"..people do go overboard bt if sum1 tells thm tht even in the politest,calmest manner they jump on u saying YOU are judgemental..i have no issues wid people liking or disliking a particular actor or celeb..kools,i get what u mean abt ankita coming across as rash..she did even to me..bt at the same time,knowing the channel and the platform,i will not be surprised if it was staged..so i reserve my comments on her..in fact on any celeb..half the times they use media and half the time the media uses thm..and the audience is made out to be a sucker..either as adoring fans or as cynics..both are played on..whether wid "love stories" btwn leads or catfights btwn competitors..u see everything and i have stoppde beliveing anytihng..we dnt know anybody personally and so i believe in "thou shud not judge"..sum women come across as complete bimbos or bitches and later u find out tht they were pretending or were portrayed such..even wid reality shows..the editting does the trick to portray an actor either wid a halo or wid horns..and mostly both are false..

a fan is ALWAYS considered non-objective and partial, even when he/she uses logic in his defence. I ahve faced it everywhere, many others like Tiya, TB Anu have also faced it. People feel hurt when they are called judgemental, but they have no problem in dismissing someone as a fangirl or a crazy fan, just bcos our opinion didn't match theirs. In fact, the opening post itself said-- being a fan limits your vision. (yeh to for granted le liya hai.)

So your expectation is that people in reality show forums should read the logic in your posts and accept the defence of your idol if it is logical ?

Pardon me .........but isn't that expectation unrealistic ? Did you guys make a seperate post in the beginning of that season of JDJ declaring yourselves or your group as ' We are Sushant Fans but not the blind ones , we r the ones open to reason and our posts will have logic so deal with us differently than other Sushant fans ?'

Could that post have been made in the first place ?

I am not being sarcastic here . I am serious . Coz the problem u outlined warrants only this measure . But is this measure possible ?

In my opinion NO . This is NOT possible . You have declared yourself a fan and you have gone on a reality show forum .....everyone there is to defend their idol , not to see the logic in your posts at all . They are not in the mood . They are there to defend their idol , ensure voting for their idol and want their idol to win . You cannot enter the Land of Bias and expect appreciation and respect for what you consider to be an objective defence of ur idol .

And even elsewhere ............once u declare urself a FAN , even if your arguments are logical and rational , while reading them the other party will agree or disagree with u if not dismiss u , but it will always be there at the back of his mind .....oh but she is his fan right , after all ? Of course she will defend him .

Is the one thinking this way ......the average person .....so wrong ? If I declare myself an Amitabh Fan and make arguments on his behalf what will people think ? Oh she is his fan , naturally ! Right ?

That is the definition of a fan . Fan means you are rooting for someone and SUBJECTIVE . U r no more in the OBJECTIVE field . Its a CHOICE u made . Now if u want to declare urself as a different kind of FAN .....the one who can indeed be objective in her analysis .........DECLARE that way then . And see the reaction . Perhaps it will be more accepting , more open ???

Me , I don't think thats possible . What in essence ur saying is Oh I am a fan , but a different kind of one , don't slot me with the bulk crazy ones . Thats not going to be possible .

But the same ones who argued with u later appreciated with u in FB and elsewhere . In forums like PR etc ur posts get a different reception although ur a Manav fan . I don't see them dismissed . I see them being carefully considered .

I have high respect for TB , tiya , anu , you ..........I wud never dream of dismissing your posts . But then by now I know u as we interacted on a platform for two years . How will all know that ? They are faceless entities , with average intelligence , out there to root for tHEIR idols . They are not even interested in logic vogic .

So this shud be taken with a pinch of salt . Thats part of being a fan . When u say hey its FUN being a fan ......its the pro of being a fan and this kind of dismissal is the con of being a fan . Everything has pros and cons and if u accept the pro , why not the con with a steady mind ? Why such irritation as u confessed ?

But the anger you feel at such people shud not be taken out on all and sundry by declaring them judgemental when they voice an opinion by insinuating

you are not really qualified to give an opinion like that coz u don't follow this as closely as we do , we r far more knowledgeable in this as we have followed this closely [ Thats insufferably superior].

Here when i say YOU i do not mean YOU as such . Here I talk to the general .

Regarding what anu and u both said .........about that segment of Ankita losing her composure and ranting a bit being perhaps REHEARSED .

.Totally agreed . It may have been . Just like the proposal , the unfolding of the so called love story was perhaps rehearsed . Reality shows r indeed scripted . But even then , the actress made a CHOICE to come across that way then ........as disrespectful , and she effectively conveyed it with her superb acting then . So HOW is the average viewer to be blamed for 'JUDGING" her ? He is giving the reaction SHE desires , the show desires ! Why the hell shud the AVERAGE VIEWER be blamed for being quick and judgemental in this case or in the former if its not rehearsed BEATS ME . In BOTH cases , reheased or unrehearsed , the onus of the publicity she gets lies on the actress ALONE .

I am not a Fan of Sushant the way u guys are . Yet I am supporting him in his displeasure with his role in the script with Ekta . Why ? coz I feel he acts good and he deserves better and I find Ekta tyrannical . I bluntly told whati felt about Ankita ......that she needs to brush her PR skills . I look at her though she is not my favorite and admit she is exceedingly pretty . I loved Amitabh but I found it not to my taste that he pitted Rekha and Jaya against each other and made MONEY out of even THAT . I absolutely admire Salman's charity work with orphanages and old homes but I find him a mediocre actor . But i do admit he has star potential . Being a star and being an actor r two different things . My admiration for his charity work will not stop me from expressing my disapproval of the stories that keep filtering in about how he beats up his lady loves as he has a temper problem .

Which category do I fall in ? I don't know . But I do know That my views are amost inevitably unpopular . I don't mind that now and I am now at peace .

Point of the argument in case one feels we circumvented : The Fun experienced and the criticism of being biased are both two sides of the coin if u choose to be a Fan . Simply accept it , do not get irritated .

More as I read earlier posts coz I havent replied to many points .Some of them were very valid .

koolsadhu1000 wrote:

My objection is to the word FAN . I find it demeaning .

My user id itself says I m a fan. Means..................

koolsadhu1000 wrote:

ShradsBLfan wrote:

koolsadhu1000 wrote:

My objection is to the word FAN . I find it demeaning .

My user id itself says I m a fan. Means..................

Aga shraddhu shock hou nakos . U won't believe this but ever since i made that statement , I have wanted to retract it and say I prefer not to be called a Fan myself . I am retracting that statement as it is a honest misttake . I make it clear

1] I do NOT find it demeaning

2] I do not object to others who are proud to be fans and proudly announce so .

I stand by the rest of my opinions .My only argument is Fandom is not at all productive . It has more negative effects .

Retracting it right now darling .My laziness . Replying constantly to niki . Was too lazy to go and correct it . Actually I wanted to say I find it unsuitable to myself personally coz the one whom I praise , I can very very easily bash him too in a split second .

kools,@ bold,i wud say a genuine fan wud do the same..

kools,@ bold,i wud say a genuine fan wud do the same

..........u mean praise and bash both ? Anu what I think is happening here is U guys are talking of the exceptions to the rule . Honestly tell me .........How many of them do this ?90% are so biased and so much in love with their idol that they refuse to criticise him or even critique him . Niki mentioned TB , tiya , u etc . How many of them are like u guys and how many fall in the other 90% ? Now if anyone tells me We have seen many like us , Sorry , i will simply differ .....coz I am answering based on MY experiences and I have NOT . The type that you and niki are talking about are far less and The bulk is what I Am describing . And not just that , I am ALSO saying that it is impossible to segerate the two .........Thats the reason some fans feel hurt and disrespected when their opinions are not read seriously . U really cannot blame the others ..........They deal withb scores of these kind of crazy fans . And Fans .........both , crazy or as u say 'logical' ........are BIASED . BIAS is very much there , to THAT theres no exception . Not liking ANY character and liking one particular very much are totally different things . Can i ever say in PR forum what i seriously felt when I watched Ankita Madhuri scene ? Within two seconds they will swoop down on me like hawks calling me 'judgemental'and 'wrong'. I will be questioned to how much I know of that actress etc to even dare to pass such a remark etc . No one is going to simply let it go saying its her opinion .Not just that I will lose LOT of my commentary fans if I was doing commentary . This I give u in WRITING . I am voicing this freely on MY blog . Hell ......I lost lot of Manav fans for bashing him in my commentary . And I am NOT talking of u niki ,tiya TB or swati . Such fans r fistful . The majority is different . And so I ask ......Shud Fandom be defined by studying guys like u or The bulk ?

After reading much of the discussion, I want to put down my two cents:

There is no such thing as an objective fan, logical fan, unbiased fan… no such thing.. if you are a fan…WHY??

no matter how much you seem objective, unbiased; the minute someone says negative, CLAWS come out.. no one is able to walk away calmly and say “ chalo, bol raha hai, bolne do”. I cant do it, I assure you no one can. Some respond back ( please don’t take offense ) with the same logic, unbias.. and some fight back… the cycle starts. This is specially true in reality shows. Why? In such shows many participate without an idea of another; so when a member makes a post , the fan feels the urge to respond. Ex: JDJ how many times I defended ankita, sushant!! Now, I feel as if I hurt some members, who just came for the show. Some said “ sushant is one tone dancer”; how I defended him.. I wasn’t able to walk away from that. How many hated on ankita? I wasn’t able to stay quiet.
For me a true fan is one such, who doesn’t feel the need to defend. As a fan, go on liking!!! Then the problem starts, some actually HURT and INSULT others to glorify their star. I have done that, I have realized it and decided, none of them are worth it.

Objective and logical is thrown out the window in ALL forums. Then it becomes something akin to a courtroom drama: all debating to prove themselves. That’s why objective, logical, unbiased are mere words to me.

Some members are mature and thus use words, some are immature, drown themselves in their fans and forget that there are people on the other side of the computer: reality shows or not

The objectivity That I talk of simply is this ........understanding that OTHER POVS EXIST AND CAN BE PERHAPS RIGHT . Ultimately NO ONE , as u say , is hundred percent objective except perhaps for a self realised soul like Jesus . But What I encounter is OTHER POVS CANNOT EXIST ONLY , AND IF THEY DO ITS BULL . Mind u , NOT on reality show forums.............in THESE forums TOO . They snigger at u for having a different POV . That astounded me , that zapped me . And Its Then I realised that the fandom has made them SO closeminded that they cannot even grasp or understand the fact that ANOTHER POV can exist ! They feel SHOCKEd when its given ! U wont believe it but some Archu fans actually believed I was a disturbed lady mentally coz I critiqued her . Who Can dislike Archu ? Not a SANE person ! There must be SERIOSLY something wrong with this lady was the GENUINE TONE . Yes , I got pms ...........PMS in which my mother's death was referred to , my balance of mind was referred to ! They were not being sarcastic ............FANDOM had given them TUNNEL VISION .


Here, I agree with you. But that’s what happens in such forums. Where there are rules to conform, can there be free thinking? NO. why? Simple stats. Like minded people come, and form a gang and kick out the others: some fight, others leave quietly.. hasn’t that happened to us? I too got hate mails, calling me trolls for hating on archana. Then I realized: why the fuck am I bothering? Kya fyada.. and this happens in fandom.. I agree there…

BUT I do repeat, when people go in saying “ I am sane, I am objective” I say NO. when push comes to shove anyone will fall and get dirty.. they will rise from it and behave the same way as the opposite person.
i will give MY example: in JDJ, some member gave inside information that ankita had temper tantrum…they jumped on her for 75 pages. ( I wasn’t there. Honest) but see the fandom… another member who defended her was PISSED. The cycle continued. Kya hua?? Turned out she was sort of right.. but EVERYBODY got labeled: hater, blind fan… so NO OBJECTIVTY, no sane minded… only HURT emotions.
You are different kools: you debate, but you know when to back down.. that matters MOST I think… when to back down…
Most objective fans seem blind fans when they use that word and debate… I think it’s a MASK….

Do I think arguments should never happen?? Debates never happen? NO. argue, debate. I like debating on PR freely. I watch the show, don’t I have the right to criticize the characters?? Don’t I have the right to say “ I don’t like archana”. I DO. But that gets translated as HATER.
I also find: when people are fans of characters and actors; they accept ANY crap under the name of story. I needn’t tell that the precious few who break from this norm are: niki, varsha, you, TB, umayal, sowmya etc.

I have long realized that I have opinions; I like actors, characters. But I am FAN of none. As humans NONE are perfect. Like the good, speak the bad.
Really, kools, I know some people who get hate mails on a daily basis for hating some character (KSG, Jennifer winget).. these things bother me.

I repeat .......niki , u , TB . etc R DIFFERENT . But I have been on IF long and in ALL kinds of forums I encountered very negative Fandom . Tiya u have bashed Manav although ur a Sushant Fan and so has niki and thats commendable . But I have been TOLD by others That I am a Shravani Fan . Even when I told NO , I was told NOPE .YOU VERY MUCH ARE . Now wht to say ? I told them ......Cannot I give her POV WITHOUT being her FAN ? And they did NOT seem to understand that . Its THAT Objectivity that I talk about ............Otherwise I KNOW that literally everything in this worl;d is subjective only .

I don’t mind talking on story, arguing for the points we stand for. That’s debate. But like you said, if people say, I can ONLY argue if I know all the stats on celebs, then I’ll show the finger.

BUT I do repeat, when people go in saying “ I am sane, I am objective” I say NO. when push comes to shove anyone will fall and get dirty.. they will rise from it and behave the same way as the opposite person.

tiya I know ur talking in general but heres something I would like to say purely for myself as i talk a lot in many forums to make my views heard . I would never dream of saying I am objective and I am sane bcoz I am not attached to a character and the other person is . So the other person is attached .........but let me read him , he may have a point . I try to keep an open mind ........otherwise , my POV too is subjective only , I am , after all , giving it based on MY life experiences and others have led a different life so their POV is different . Who am I to say that My experiences give me a more valid viewpoint ?

But I look at the situation that Archana is in as ANY woman's situation and THEN i advance an argument . For instance NOTHING that she did convinced me that she had ANY right whatsoever to advise her sisters on marraige . Her own marraige was a failure and she had divorced her husband for the stupidest of reasons and here she was telling her younger sister not to divorce him although her jeeju was a bigamist who had sired two kids . I find that RIDICULOUS . And then my arguments start . I put forward my POV . What happens is people come and justify this nonsense simply coz Archana is their idol .............I am hundred percent sure not one of them in real life will opt to live with a bigamist unless they have pathetic options . And they end up calling me 'Oh she is KNOWN for bashing archu ,She is Archana HATER .

Now WHY wud I hate Archana ? This puzzles me . I wud bash my sister the SAME way if she gave me this f advice . I am talking of the wrong nonsense advocated as something virtuous here ............I am least interested in liking or hating Archana. Wud have said same thing if Manav had advised thus or Varsha had advised thus . And this is the objectivity I find lacking in fans . My opinion is subjective , yes .......but my attitude is objective . At the same time I fully make an allowance for someone to come up and tell me U know what Kools , ur wrong ........It really ISN"T wrong for a woman to accept her bigamist husband .........forgiveness is a very personal thing and hey if she forgives and is ok with it , why shud we moralize and insist that she work and live alone and raise her kid alone ? Maybe she weighed
the pros and cons and decided that the kid needs a Dad .........thats MORE important than the personal strife ! Who are YOU to say that only ur optiion is the only one and the right one ? And tiya I wud actually consider it and accede as it has a point although personally I wud not prefer it or approve of it . But what I wud defo not do is label her in my mind as regressive or stupid . For me , thats unacceptable .