Joint Family or Nuclear Family : Which was the Best

Posts : 577 Join date : 2011-03-24

I was lucky enough to see BOTH . I come from a generation where I saw my parents , uncles and aunts living in a joint family system . I also saw the advent of nuclear family system during my generation . Today , for the generation after ours .........the concept of joint family system is becoming extinct like the dinosaurs .

It is observed by youngsters with relish in movies and serials on TV . They hardly know what it REALLY entails or was like ...........as they experience a nuclear family .

IT does prevail in rural India . But it is fast dying in metros due to economic conditions and lack of space .

Which do u feel was better ? Can a joint family system survive today ? Will it rejuvenate our cultural values that r rapidly being lost with the passage of time if it is resuctitated once more ?

Or is it best That it disintegrated with time as the social evils of that system were far greater and outweighed the plus points ?

Does a nuclear family mentality give rise to no social evils ?

Please give your point of views .

I really can't see any evils in a joint family. In every sense it is a convenient arrangement for everyone- emotionally, mentally, financially etc.

You have your loved ones close to you and they are always with you to give you guidance and support. The culture remains alive and is passed on to the children more efficiently in a joint family. I love you

All responsibilities are shared and during any problems- emotional, financial, etc. the family is there to handle it together. It is a big security system in itself.

Everyone stays happy in a joint family. I think the reason why this practice is diminishing nowadays is NOT cos of changing values but rather cos of people having to shift owing to jobs- like initially my parents lived in a joint family but later due to jobs in different cities all the brothers spread here and there and finally it was just me, dad, mom, granny and my sis. I don't think that can be actually called a 'nuclear' family. In fact in most families it is the same. Yes, the previous model of all the brothers and sisters and cousins and kaka kaku is not possible now cos of jobs etc but parents still live with their children so it is not really 'nuclear'- a nuclear family in true sense will be one where its only husband wife and children.

I feel joint family is a great arrangement. House is always in merry, everyone there to help. Elders being in the family keeps a sort of discipline in the house and also guide their children in their parenthood.

koolsadhu1000 wrote:: Which do u feel was better ? Can a joint family system survive today ? Will it rejuvenate our cultural values that r rapidly being lost with the passage of time if it is resuctitated once more ?

The actual model of ALL relatives living together is difficult owing to people having jobs in different corners of the country. But yes, it is still alive in the sense that parents still live with their children, or at least with the eldest son.

Or is it best That it disintegrated with time as the social evils of that system were far greater and outweighed the plus points ?

I personally believe it had no real evils. Yeah, maybe sometimes minor things got aggrevated. But it was a good system overall.

Does a nuclear family mentality give rise to no social evils ? This part I will think and answer later.

Please give your point of views .

Posts : 62 Join date : 2011-04-24

Don't really know much about either, but living in a nuclear family setting for last 5 years, and now these months in a joint family setting, I don't know the difference further. Yes, very difficult thing to understand.

I think for any family to coexist, the extended and the nuclear, proper understanding must be achieved in various levels. But really interesting to see how you all describe your joint family tradition and the nuclear one probably inspired from western civilizations.

I think, each individual family must weight its own pros and cons, there is nothing that can be generalized in this, as every family and every individuals in it are different. The priority must be given to peace and adaptability.

Parents, when they get old, should be taken care of by the children. But as I read it, your joint family is about uncles, aunts, cousins and the whole troop ... which is interesting ofcourse, but often might end up in serious clashes of power in the family too? Are you sure the having peace is possible in today's scenario with such families?

World changes with time, everything evolves, people learn and upgrade their structures. Maybe there needs to be a middle point? A balance perhaps is yet to be achieved.

There is a saying that the true distance occurs in the heart. The heart needs to be kept united and happy for all

Posts : 244 Join date : 2011-04-17 Age : 37

Hai Di,

Again a Nice Topic and wish to Know the end result of it as I myself was eager to know the answer for it, which is better?

I wish to give my views on it but didn't had an experience of a Joint family. doesn't had a personal experience of How it would be but heard so many about it.

I think both has its own pros and cons. Each as its importance and at the same time its demerits too.

Actually I loved to be in a group. On all my vocations I used to go to my grandma's house where my two uncle's family live together along with my grandparents. I used to enjoy a lot there. Its so much fun and you know more from each people that you can get more knowledge , help ,fun everything.

But there too certain Limitations exists and as of now I see it, the things that needed for a constructive joint family cannot be satisfied with the people's intentions and perspective now.

First and foremost thing is adjusting capability ,adaptability. There itself ,the building's basement gets weak.
May be the nuclear family structure today is the reason for it. Being given a lot of importance and exposure, they find it difficult to adjust to others and wish to do whatever they like.

That too I see this Behavior in most of them who were the only child to their family and get spoilt. Even they find it too hard to adjust
to their sasural after their marriage. They find fault with everything.

Most have become self-centered which makes it difficult to rebuild the Joint family structure.(I was saying this on what my personal experience was, there will be exceptions, sorry if it hurts anyone's views).

Regarding Joint family, the merits would be you have more to care for yourself, help,Guide and safeguard you in everything.You have large circle of knowledge sharing with different experiences from your different loved ones. but there again lies the problem. Because the parents might want their kid to do something of their own interest or they might wish to do as their child wish.
But if someone else in the family has a regressive thought and doesn't allow then its a problem. (I was saying about a girl going for a job). Because even now I seen some of my relatives,uncle still say that why to send a girl for a job, get her married,if her husband or sasural wants she can go.

Then in such cases ,a compatibility problem will exists.

Then comes the nuclear family, The merits would be ,you were all alone to take care of yourself which gives you more responsibility and make you learn about life thro hard steps.
It gives more personal space which is most needed at times and a large freedom were you are allowed to do as you wish.
Again there were the problem lies. This thought of ours ,ours have increased which results in being less adaptable and self-centered.

I was resulted in a confused state as each has its own pros and cons. None was perfect enough and yes ,each family depends on the persons who make it. so couldn't conclude anything.

Hence looking forward for all your views to know more about it and come to a conclusion.